First off thank you Mr. Roberts for the honor to read and review your lovely book! I very much enjoyed it and hope my readers along with yourself enjoy my review: link is at the bottom of the post!
Uncle Billy’s Chicken Hut & Salvation Emporium
by Jeffery G. Roberts
West of the bustling metropolis of Phoenix, along Interstate Highway 10, is the magnificent and mystical desolation of the mountains of Southwestern Arizona. It is as alien as the planet Mars, and just as foreboding. Yet hidden away between the peaks & valleys and desert vistas, is a most incongruous edifice – part diner, part carnival atmosphere, with equal measure of whimsy, and just a smidge of nightmare. And it lay smack dab between the Eastern boundaries of imagination, and the Western shores of spooky. You can’t get to it by car or plane; and you won’t reach it by helicopter or even horseback. Nor is it on any map in existence. In fact – you won’t find it at all.
Unless you’re dead. For this is Uncle Billy’s Chicken Hut & Salvation Emporium. Welcome. You say your spirit can’t move on until you find that 1995 issue of Jugs Galore with Miss February – before your wife does? Come on in! Never got a chance to see the dream realized of eating oysters on the half-shell? You’ve come to the right place! Not quite sure you’re actually in the dead mode? Uncle Billy will steer you on the right path! You know you’re dead, but you’re not quite sure how it happened, or where to go? Uncle Billy will set you straight!
Length: 29 pages
Publisher: Independently published
Publish Date: January 18, 2019
Genre: Paranormal | Urban Fantasy
“Another satisfied customer?” Charlene asked, when Billy returned.
“Damn straight, darlin’. And a good feeling, too.”
Just then, one of Uncle Billy’s waitresses, Kate, let out a scream from the kitchen. Billy, Mona, and Charlene ran in to see the source of the commotion. And on the floor was a man, a big man, covered in raw egg. Kate was just standing there, with a look of astonishment.
“Who the hell is this?” Billy asked, pointing.
“You got me, Billy. I was going to cook an egg. I cracked it open into the pan, and BOOM – – He come out instead! Then he just blew up into full size right there on the floor, like an inflated balloon!”
I was born in New York City during Millard Fillmore’s administration. At least, I feel like that sometimes.
My Dad was a decorated ace in the Royal Air Force during the Battle of Britain, having received the Distinguished Flying Cross. I think that’s where I got my love of aviation from. My Mom was a saint. Period.
I soloed on Halloween, 1968, from the old Burnside-Ott Aviation Training Center at Opa-Locka Airport in Florida, graduating from North Miami Senior High that same year. I remember it was a beautiful little Cessna 150. I graduated from Northern Arizona University, in Flagstaff, in 1974, having received a Bachelor’s degree in writing and a Master’s in history. Flagstaff is the home of Lowell Observatory, where Percival Lowell did so much to further our understanding of Mars at the turn of the last century, and where Clyde Tombaugh discovered Pluto in 1930. It’s also the home of the U.S. Geological Survey, who were the 1st to process the pictures of Mars, sent from the old Mariner missions in the 60’s. N.A.U. astronomers were also the first to discover caves on Mars, due to the darker light at their entrances, when compared to the surrounding area.
I did awful in High School because I hated it. I did great in college because I loved it. No brainer. Now I know why Northern Arizona is called God’s country. Visit it sometime! I’ve climbed down to the bottom of the magnificent Grand Canyon (and yes, out again – obviously) and still feel the aches & pains some 40 years later. I’ve lived in Florida, New York, California, Ontario, Canada, and now Arizona again. And we come full circle.
I started writing seriously around 1978. Prior to that I suppose I wasn’t serious – shopping lists, addressing letters, hastily scribbled recipes, threatening notes to other car owners to get out of my parking space – things like that. Since then, I’ve written THE HEALER ,CHERRIES IN WINTER, IN THE SHADOW OF THE HOUSE OF GOD,UNCLE BILLY’S CHICKEN HUT & SALVATION EMPORIUM, plus 4 other novels of science fiction, fantasy, and horror, comedy and numerous short stories.
I’ve always been attracted to the weird & unexplained. I’m a great believer in UFO’s, and detest the conspiracy of silence concerning them. I believe the future of space commercialization lies in private enterprise. As such, I also believe that Mars should be our top priority. And what will we find when we get there? Remnants of an ancient civilization. And – of course – the infamous Face on Mars. Don’t believe me? Wait. As Fox Mulder said, “The truth is out there.”
Just remember, friends – at best, life is a joke. At worst, none of this is real; it’s all done with smoke & mirrors. Actually, life is a question of mind over matter; if you don’t mind – it doesn’t matter.